self employed

The End of Something

Tonight is an interesting night for me; but not for conventional reasons. I think it’s that I’m having ideas. Not the kind of ideas that come directly before or after the words “dude, I am SOOOOOOO RIPPED right now”; ideas (well, at least one big idea compiled from smaller ideas) that I can envision realistically, that I want to develop, and that seem, at least at this point, pretty durn cool. I’m not lost on the notion that any one of my ideas up to and including all of them are less than good, but until I’m just stopped in my tracks, I’ll go ahead and be optimistic.

Like I can help being optimistic.

So I moved to a new city in August, and got a seasonal job working in a shipping house for a retailer of food things- gift baskets and treats and wines and stuff. Over the course of my employ I’ve been job hunting pretty faithfully, as I have a trade and see no reason I can’t sucker someone into hiring me.

When The Company- that I work for, not ‘The Company’- operates normally, they maintain around 3,000 employees F/T, and swell close to 10,000 for the holiday season. There was a substantial layoff about ten days ago and somehow, I survived the cut, for now. But the workload has all but shriveled up and taken to sticking its leg out for any light breeze that finds itself passing through. At this point I’m thinking to myself that I’m averaging abysmally low hours, and the journeymen aren’t blowing up my phone like they’re supposed to be (the gall of those cads), so I took the quiet time Wifey sprung on me and got to lazily dreaming up ways to go into business for myself.

There’s a car dealership I pass almost every day, full of custom jobbies: Corvettes, Camaros, old Lincolns, road queen 4x4s, etc. Yesterday I see a 95-ish Mustang Cobra sporting a carbon fiber hood with pins in it. Myself being a Stangbanger, I made a wrong turn that just happened to be next to the dealership. I decided to pop over and see if the guys there could help me with directions to the bank a block away. I forget if I asked or not, because the first fella I talked to asked me what I was looking at, and the reckless boy in me screamed “THE COBRA!!!!!!!”

A short while later I have learned two very troublesome facts: the car in its current kit was purpose built for drifting (handling yikes), and according to the last dyno run, puts to ground over 700 horsepower. No thirty-year-old Mustang guy in his right mind would buy that, or any, car and NOT try to speed as fast as possible as often as possible. The pain I felt explaining I didn’t need that kind of temptation was mind-numbing. The man understood; apparently he’s a Stangbanger too.

(Note: You’d think James Dean and Prefontaine and Dale Sr. And Paul Walker and everyone else that has met a violent vehicular end would have taught us something about keeping our heads on straight. Peter Parker’s Uncle Ben said it best, “With great power”……)

I mentioned to the dealer guy, Brad, that what I really wanted was a BMW E39 M5, the one they sold from 1997 to 2003. Its such a beautiful car to me: striking in its simplicity of line, a secret harbinger of great power. It was named the fastest sport sedan on Earth. Drool.

Brad and I cut it up a bit more and I was on my way, daydreaming of posing for photos in front of an M5 that I will someday own. I was reminded of a story I was told, of a lady, as I understand it, who drives a taxi around the Nürburgring, an E39 M5 taxi. One could truly get their fill of motorsport there; rich privateers logging track time on their Koenigseggs or LFAs trading paint with R&D cars from any number of world renowned racing organizations, factory performance prototypes, weekend warriors- did I mention one can drive it, arguably the world’s most well known race circuit, and pay by the lap?! Sorry, back on task….

LIGHTBULB!! I could use an M5 as a regular taxi, not just a racetrack joyride. Seems like a cool idea. But how would I sell that gimmick, and to who? Fellow gearheads? Nah, they’ve got their own obscene machines, they wouldn’t care. A gaggle of hammered twentysomethings trying to decipher drunk directions to someone’s house that, in actuality, only one of them was invited to (haha, classic)? “Fastest Cab in [insert clever eye-catcher here]”? Ugh, I dunno.

So it’s developing. It’ll turn into something I can actually build a business plan around.

I wonder if Matthew Lesko can birddog me some M5 taxi money.

 

Update: Visit http://www.bmw-motorsport.com/en/cars/bmw-m5-ring-taxi.html for info on BMW’s participation in the ‘ring, and http://www.nuerburgring.de/en/angebote/driving-academy/co-pilot-rides/bmw-ring-taxi/faq.html for an FAQ, details and contact info to get yourself a piece of this action!

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